If you are trying to get back your girlfriend, you'll have to approach the situation with a lot of care. Understand that a lot of feelings, both yours and hers were injured and that it will take a while for them to heal. A good deal of self control will be needed so that you won't stir up the old arguments that brought about the break up.
Here are some suggestions:
It really helps to reflect on the reason for the breakup and whether changes are possible that will improve your relationship. Can you do anything to guarantee that further breakups will not occur in the future? Compromise will certainly be needed. Will it be possible for you to live with them? Will she accept them? Knowing why the breakup happened will help you to avoid triggering the usual conflicts when you first try to get her back.
There are two requirements that are somewhat contradictory. On the one hand, it is vital that you stay in contact with her. On the other, you can't come on too strong since this will only serve to push her away. In fact, communication with her should be scaled back but not cut off after a break up.
You'll have to make it known in a subtle way that you want to be in her life. Your communication should come across as relaxed, easy going, and not overdone. Send the occasional "what's up?" email but don't fill up her inbox because it will give her the wrong impression.
Find innocent and safe ways that demonstrate that she is still in your thoughts. Show her that she matters to you by remembering the important dates in her life such as anniversaries. Send a card on her birthday and on holidays.
It's important not to allow yourself to be cut off from the world. Enjoy your other friendships and maintain a social life. This will help you to stay upbeat and confident. Your ex must never get the impression that you are falling apart over the break up.
You should be showing her that you're just fine but that you still care about her. This allows her to reassess the good times that you had together without feeling pressured.
Finally you must make the effort to be friends with her. This should recapture the good things that the both of you had and will create trust. This trust should strengthen and bring you both closer together.
There's no precise method or formula to getting your ex back but these suggestions should get you off to a good start. Maintaining the lines of communication is essential but it should be relaxed and subtle. Get too intense about it and she'll be pushed away. - 16759
Here are some suggestions:
It really helps to reflect on the reason for the breakup and whether changes are possible that will improve your relationship. Can you do anything to guarantee that further breakups will not occur in the future? Compromise will certainly be needed. Will it be possible for you to live with them? Will she accept them? Knowing why the breakup happened will help you to avoid triggering the usual conflicts when you first try to get her back.
There are two requirements that are somewhat contradictory. On the one hand, it is vital that you stay in contact with her. On the other, you can't come on too strong since this will only serve to push her away. In fact, communication with her should be scaled back but not cut off after a break up.
You'll have to make it known in a subtle way that you want to be in her life. Your communication should come across as relaxed, easy going, and not overdone. Send the occasional "what's up?" email but don't fill up her inbox because it will give her the wrong impression.
Find innocent and safe ways that demonstrate that she is still in your thoughts. Show her that she matters to you by remembering the important dates in her life such as anniversaries. Send a card on her birthday and on holidays.
It's important not to allow yourself to be cut off from the world. Enjoy your other friendships and maintain a social life. This will help you to stay upbeat and confident. Your ex must never get the impression that you are falling apart over the break up.
You should be showing her that you're just fine but that you still care about her. This allows her to reassess the good times that you had together without feeling pressured.
Finally you must make the effort to be friends with her. This should recapture the good things that the both of you had and will create trust. This trust should strengthen and bring you both closer together.
There's no precise method or formula to getting your ex back but these suggestions should get you off to a good start. Maintaining the lines of communication is essential but it should be relaxed and subtle. Get too intense about it and she'll be pushed away. - 16759
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