Motivation. If you are a single parent " do you really need to fall in love? Probably you already have too many issues in your life, but the answer is still yes! Can you give your children love in full, if your own love has not bloomed for a quite awhile? Sure, this is not the same thing, but I am also sure that your kids want you to be happy as much, as you want it yourself. Because of love people feel happier, look nicer and live longer. So, if love comes to you, everybody wins, including those whom you love most of all in this world: your children! So, for start you need strong motivation for dating again, something like I just said, or something else that you have to find for yourself.
Be ready. Hope you agree with all stated above, maybe you have even better reasons for looking for love again (although I think desire of being happy is good enough). How well prepared are you? Here are some simple checks. First, you shall have no bad feelings about your former spouse/lover. If there are any, you have to free yourself completely from those feelings: the least thing you need is to let anything from your past to sneak into your new relationship. Second, do you love yourself? If not, you have to fix this attitude first. Your self-negation will make harder for another person to love you, because love is always sharing, you dont want him (or her) to share this with you. Finally, you may feel that a century passed since you loved someone, how can you get back to this state? Probably, the best (and maybe completely new for you) approach will be an online dating. This is where you can totally control the pace of the process and immerse yourself gradually into this hot tub of new/old feelings.
How much it costs? Oh well, you have motivation and you are prepared, but here is another problem: you do not really feel that you can afford it. Fortunately, dating online will save you tenfold vs. old-fashioned approach just by the very nature and logistics of web dating. If you are not familiar yet with internet dating, just think how you can access literally thousands of profiles of potential candidates without any expense except for very moderate membership fee. Yes, you will save a lot on gas, food, drink, time, but most important you will save on almost guaranteed exclusion of dating a wrong person. Is not that priceless? Moreover, you can sign-up for single parents clubs and find someone in your area with similar interests.
Your children and you. Yes, what about them: do you have to keep your dating secret from them? No, you better tell your kids from the start that you are looking for a date. You have to be exemplary for them, even in this business of grownups. Keep them posted about your meetings: where you are going and what to do in case if you will be late. Be prepared that at some occasions your children may even attempt to control your dating life. Do not let them to prevent your dates, they might be driven by a simple jealousy, but this will pass. Do not let them tell you whom you should meet and whom you should not: this is your life and decisions are yours.
Your new friend and your kids. Eventually you will have a relationship and there will come time to introduce your new friend to your kids. You have to prepare them for this gradually, so at first just tell your kids about him or her. Make the first meeting naturally short: some brief (incidental) encounter at a cinema (arcade, zoo) would do it. There is no need to push any side towards each other, everything will come naturally and in time. You have to find a good way to assure your kids that there is nothing in this world that can change your feelings and your care about them. Be open and sincere with them, ask their opinion about your new friend after the first meeting.
About you and your new friend children. You have to ask your friend about her or his kids: names, age, what they like to do, what they dont like, etc. By all means avoid having the first meeting at their place: kids shall not feel that you are a threat to their living space. There are few more things to avoid: saying or showing anything negative about their other parent and acting artificially (kids will feel any pretentiousness a mile away). Ask your friend what kind of presents will be a good idea to bring, make your gifts not too expensive (neither too cheap). If it will happen that a child is cold with you, dont take an offense, be a grownup: if you will handle all difficulties maturely and with a good sense of humor, you will succeed.
Final tip. We are almost done, just one more thing. Take all time you need and dont rush yourself into another marriage, get slowly into your new life, learn as much as possible and have fun! - 16759
Be ready. Hope you agree with all stated above, maybe you have even better reasons for looking for love again (although I think desire of being happy is good enough). How well prepared are you? Here are some simple checks. First, you shall have no bad feelings about your former spouse/lover. If there are any, you have to free yourself completely from those feelings: the least thing you need is to let anything from your past to sneak into your new relationship. Second, do you love yourself? If not, you have to fix this attitude first. Your self-negation will make harder for another person to love you, because love is always sharing, you dont want him (or her) to share this with you. Finally, you may feel that a century passed since you loved someone, how can you get back to this state? Probably, the best (and maybe completely new for you) approach will be an online dating. This is where you can totally control the pace of the process and immerse yourself gradually into this hot tub of new/old feelings.
How much it costs? Oh well, you have motivation and you are prepared, but here is another problem: you do not really feel that you can afford it. Fortunately, dating online will save you tenfold vs. old-fashioned approach just by the very nature and logistics of web dating. If you are not familiar yet with internet dating, just think how you can access literally thousands of profiles of potential candidates without any expense except for very moderate membership fee. Yes, you will save a lot on gas, food, drink, time, but most important you will save on almost guaranteed exclusion of dating a wrong person. Is not that priceless? Moreover, you can sign-up for single parents clubs and find someone in your area with similar interests.
Your children and you. Yes, what about them: do you have to keep your dating secret from them? No, you better tell your kids from the start that you are looking for a date. You have to be exemplary for them, even in this business of grownups. Keep them posted about your meetings: where you are going and what to do in case if you will be late. Be prepared that at some occasions your children may even attempt to control your dating life. Do not let them to prevent your dates, they might be driven by a simple jealousy, but this will pass. Do not let them tell you whom you should meet and whom you should not: this is your life and decisions are yours.
Your new friend and your kids. Eventually you will have a relationship and there will come time to introduce your new friend to your kids. You have to prepare them for this gradually, so at first just tell your kids about him or her. Make the first meeting naturally short: some brief (incidental) encounter at a cinema (arcade, zoo) would do it. There is no need to push any side towards each other, everything will come naturally and in time. You have to find a good way to assure your kids that there is nothing in this world that can change your feelings and your care about them. Be open and sincere with them, ask their opinion about your new friend after the first meeting.
About you and your new friend children. You have to ask your friend about her or his kids: names, age, what they like to do, what they dont like, etc. By all means avoid having the first meeting at their place: kids shall not feel that you are a threat to their living space. There are few more things to avoid: saying or showing anything negative about their other parent and acting artificially (kids will feel any pretentiousness a mile away). Ask your friend what kind of presents will be a good idea to bring, make your gifts not too expensive (neither too cheap). If it will happen that a child is cold with you, dont take an offense, be a grownup: if you will handle all difficulties maturely and with a good sense of humor, you will succeed.
Final tip. We are almost done, just one more thing. Take all time you need and dont rush yourself into another marriage, get slowly into your new life, learn as much as possible and have fun! - 16759
About the Author:
Des has one Ph.D. and one M.S., which are irrelevant to the major subject of his writing: relationships, personal ads and dating. To contact Des, see his other articles and access library of ebooks and other materials on online dating, finding your love online, writing personal ads, dating singles and keeping healthy relationships, or for single mom/dad web dating networks, visit Orbiana Web Dating Depot .
