Saturday, December 27, 2008

Making First Date Right: Tips for Men

By Desmond Ray

Women are unpredictable beings, and even a thought about first date makes majority of men tremble either from agitation, or from fear of being unfit, or both. What line of behavior one should take? Being like a medieval chevalier, confident and benevolent master of his fiefdom, or like a man appreciating the liberties of modern society, who is treating his lady as an equal? Where is this thin line which divides goodness from awkwardness, attraction from repulsion? Here are seven useful tips, which I would like to share with you:

Tip 1: Be a perfect planner. Think over all elements of your first date: time, place, entertainment program. Better: prepare two options, and, if you would feel any hesitation on the other side regarding your best plan, offer plan B. If you met her online, you already know (from her personal profile, from your email exchange) what turns her on. Still, keep in mind that she has never seen you before, so the choice of the place must be such, that she will feel safe and confident there. Looking for a nice and comforting place for first meeting: what that should be? It is always good to propose first meeting at a local museum of art or any other place of this kind. You can always find in such places a small cafe nearby or just a bench to sit and talk, it is usually quiet there, safe and peaceful, and you will be surrounded by beautiful objects of art. From there you can move to whatever is a next stop in your plan: restaurant, cinema, theater, vinery, or night club, however, keep in mind that sometimes it is better to leave such places for the next date.

Tip 2: Be there in time. It is scientifically proven fact that the first 15 seconds of meeting form an opinion about a person. If you will not get there in time, you will not get even these 15 seconds! Nobody likes when someone makes them wait, especially women. They usually fill the waiting time with thinking about million of those useful things, which they could do instead of standing here and just waiting. And, it usually does not take them too long to decide that they better do these things, rather than wasting their time on that slipshod fellow who is obviously not in a hurry to meet her. Likely you will not see her again.

Tip 3: Your appearance must be perfect. Perhaps you can figure this out without my tips, but, I hope, you will be OK if I will just confirm it: yes, you should look like you just came from a probe for a front cover of Esquire (if they would ever published a man on their front cover). Well, Entertainment Weekly, or whatever, you have got the point. Rest assured that before the meeting with you she spent several hours before the mirror as if she was preparing for such probe, so you better be a good match to her. She will be expecting this from you and this is what will take some fraction of those 15 seconds, which I have mentioned earlier. So you better be perfect in your flawless clothes and shiny shoes, these simple (almost silly) things will help you to win those 15 seconds.

Tip 4: Flowers Rule! Women love getting gifts on any season and occasion (and certainly with no occasion too). This date is the best reason for giving her a gift! The bouquet of flowers is a sure shot. Or, one red rose is even better (not too much and tasty). The majority of women will appreciate such gesture. This will give them a reason to tell the world that they have met a classy man.

Tip 5: Be gentleman. Just keep it old-fashioned way: open doors before her, let her first to the table, pool out a chair for her, etc. If you will have a chance helping her to take off (or put on) her coat: do not miss it, this is a chance to give her a hug, a small step in the right direction. So, the bottom line: be a gentleman, do not fear to be perceived as one: even a stubborn feminist will appreciate your efforts.

Tip 6: Compliments and more compliments. Women love them. First sentence after your initial greetings must be: You look great! (Fantastic, gorgeous, terrific ). And keep this tone for the rest of the evening: your effort will be appreciated!

Tip 7. Listen more, talk less. Surely she wants to know about you, but even more she wants you to know about her. So allow her to open herself, speak less, listen more. Help her with nodding and short ones, like: I see; Sure; Interesting, etc. If there will be your turn, do not talk much and by all means avoid saying anything about past wives and lovers, health issues, work problems and religion. Your task is to find a topic of mutual interest and help her to develop it. Show her good sense of humor and leave her to some degree intrigued about you, so there will be something to speak about at the next, and then the next, and then on the following dates, which must happen (or, at least, will be up to you) if you would follow all these tips. - 16759

About the Author: