The troublesome mother-in-law is well known as the bane of any young family's blissful relationship. When it comes to situations regarding finances, bringing up the kids, or maybe even general day to day living, there always seems to be arguments between you and the 'in-laws'. Mother-in-laws seem to have a habit of thinking that their opinion is just as important, or more so than your partners, when that really isn't the case. Naturally they care about the happiness of their extended family, but rarely know the full details of the situation " and sometimes shouldn't shed their opinion.
Most of the time, looking at the situation from their point of view can enable you to shrug the comment off. But what about the times when they have gone too far. How do we diffuse the situation with confrontation or rudeness?
If you have analyzed the situation, and have a valid argument (not just hitting back because you were insulted), you should stand your ground. List your reasoning in a calm and diplomatic way. Coming out and saying what needs to be said will show others how you feel towards the subject. Remember though, it isn't likely to change their opinions, simply because they have been opposed. The end goal should be mutual understanding about each persons feelings.
Staying quiet, but still angry underneath can indicate to others that you're either too timid, or agree with what they're saying! This may give the wrong impression, and invite them to make further distasteful comments. Even if you haven't come to a decision, and don't feel the need to speak up yet, it is an idea to at least let them know you're still thinking.
Even seemingly constructive comments can have hidden meaning. What is said sounds nice, but has sarcastic undertones. This can turn into big arguments if not nipped in the bud.
Try (very hard) to resist the urge to retaliate with some low blow since the commenter may not have meant the rudeness at all. If the rudeness was indeed intended, you have two choices. One, dont give the commenter the satisfaction and pretend you didnt follow what was said or, two, flat out tell the commenter you dont appreciate the tone or the undermining of your skills.
Dont be afraid to let others know that although a suggestion of money management or child rearing may have worked for them, youre quite certain you are doing the best you can with your family and circumstances. Just because it worked for one person does not guarantee it will work with another person.
Whatever you do, please remember that its much easier to tackle meddling in-laws with upfront, polite honesty than it is with yelling insults back and forth. - 16759
Most of the time, looking at the situation from their point of view can enable you to shrug the comment off. But what about the times when they have gone too far. How do we diffuse the situation with confrontation or rudeness?
If you have analyzed the situation, and have a valid argument (not just hitting back because you were insulted), you should stand your ground. List your reasoning in a calm and diplomatic way. Coming out and saying what needs to be said will show others how you feel towards the subject. Remember though, it isn't likely to change their opinions, simply because they have been opposed. The end goal should be mutual understanding about each persons feelings.
Staying quiet, but still angry underneath can indicate to others that you're either too timid, or agree with what they're saying! This may give the wrong impression, and invite them to make further distasteful comments. Even if you haven't come to a decision, and don't feel the need to speak up yet, it is an idea to at least let them know you're still thinking.
Even seemingly constructive comments can have hidden meaning. What is said sounds nice, but has sarcastic undertones. This can turn into big arguments if not nipped in the bud.
Try (very hard) to resist the urge to retaliate with some low blow since the commenter may not have meant the rudeness at all. If the rudeness was indeed intended, you have two choices. One, dont give the commenter the satisfaction and pretend you didnt follow what was said or, two, flat out tell the commenter you dont appreciate the tone or the undermining of your skills.
Dont be afraid to let others know that although a suggestion of money management or child rearing may have worked for them, youre quite certain you are doing the best you can with your family and circumstances. Just because it worked for one person does not guarantee it will work with another person.
Whatever you do, please remember that its much easier to tackle meddling in-laws with upfront, polite honesty than it is with yelling insults back and forth. - 16759
About the Author:
Tina Love is the resident editor of the Relationships Guide at Schmoozins - an online magazine for women that gives all women a voice. Join us as a contributor, schmoozer or just hang out a while.
